Lately I have been obsessing over what other people asked me to do so much, that I think I have forgotten how to do stuff that _I_ want to do. When I posted up some sketches a little while back, it was because I had yet to complete anything worth posting just yet. That catgirl sketch [link]
also did not turn out as well as I wanted it too, and I realized that previously I would have gone back & redone it before posting anything up, but I really did not have the energy to do so this time around. Why? Because these days whenever I get something scanned, I end up mentally doing through this perpetual loop of "OH, but before I do this, there was that other thing some guy requested...", and I loose my motivation to do any work, because I feel I cannot work on the stuff that I want to do.
Not helping things any is that a lot of these requests come from people who have already asked three or four other artists to draw the exact same thing for them, leaving me feeling as if I am not doing anything special. AND when I do not do everything for them before other people get their versions out, I get messages in my inbox asking what is taking me so long. I am not a fast artist; I am lucky if I get something out at least once a month. Sorry, that is just the way that I am.
I kind of feel like I have lost my muse, fussing over this. I want to draw things that interest ME. That is why I do not draw boys, or non-popping versions of my previous pictures; I do not have any interest in doing those pictures, ever.
So what is the point? Well until further notice, I am not doing anymore requests/birthday pics/or anything else that is sent to me, just because somebody asked. I am not doing commissions either, and anybody who presses the issue, I will just simply ignore. I want to get back to doing things that I want to draw, before I start doing things other people want me to draw.
That is the bottom line, and sorry if this upsets anyone. Goodnight.